


You Were Kind

by Fairylights4672



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, after episode 10 I just NEEDED TO WRITE, can be seen as platonic or romantic, post Timeless Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairylights4672/pseuds/Fairylights4672
Summary: She’d been there a month, before the worst day came.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master, Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 317





	You Were Kind

She’d been there a month, before the worst day came. 

The Doctor had thought about trying to escape, but every time she put her mind to doing the calculations, she ended up with a banging headache. And so, she’d realised, rather begrudgingly, that she needed this time. 

She needed to be forced to stay still and be alone. 

That didn’t mean she had to like it though. 

She had tried thinking about it. Really hunkering down and trying to work through everything the Master had told her, in a logical and unbiased way. But she’d found it too hard. Whilst the prospect of not knowing who she really was didn’t scare her, it hurt. 

She felt like mourning everything she’d ever thought she knew. She wanted to mourn who she’d been before all of this. 

But that hurt too much, and if the Doctor did one thing well, it was running from her problems. So she shut herself off; refused to think about it whenever it crossed her mind. Which was often. 

And it had been going well. Almost perfectly in fact, for a month. She was feeling alright, if not only itching to be free from the confines of her cell. The Doctor wanted to find her TARDIS, and her fam. She wanted to let them know she was ok, and she wanted to go home. 

But apart from that, it had been going well. 

Until a Judoon opened the little slat in her deadlock sealed door. 

“Doctor, you will be given a new cell mate today.” He explained.

“Oh, ok.” The Doctor nodded. “Any hints?”

“Cell mates are always of the same race, to avoid disputes.” He explained. She scoffed a little. 

“Jokes on you lot, I don’t know what race I am.” Laughing about it seemed to help. And then her smile dropped and she stood up. “Wait. What?”

The Judoon shut the slat, and the Doctor raced over to the door, pounding on it. 

“Wait wait wait! What did you just say?? You’re going to put another time lord in here with me??”

The Judoon outside didn’t reply, but she could feel it listening. 

“I should warn you, I don’t get on well with other Time Lords. Could you find another cell?” Her stomach was practically sick with dread. Because she knew there was only one person it could be. 

The Doctor hated it when she was right. 

Because four hours later, as she was still pacing, the Master was thrown into the room. 

She froze, as he righted himself, catching sight of her and his eyes widening. Then his face spread into a grin. 

“Oh, wonderful.” He lit up in glee. “How long you in here for?” 

The Doctor stared at him, rooted to the spot. She’d never considered herself a violent person, but she was sure she’d never wanted to slam someone’s head into a wall as much as she wanted to right then. Her anger was shaking her entire body, but she didn’t have the words to even begin to say it. 

He sighed, throwing himself on the spare bed.

“I’m in for life.” He explained dramatically. “But, I treat it more as a vacation. A well earned one, might I add!” 

The Doctor’s jaw trembled. 

“Doctor?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not looking too well. Been incarcerated long?”

She felt like crying. He hummed, narrowing his eyes at her reaction. 

“How are you dealing with it?” 

The Doctor finally moved. Her feet stepped like lead over to her bed, and she picked up the book she’d been reading, curling up away from him and turning back to it. 

Her eyes scanned over the words, but she didn’t take them in. 

She had to get out of there. 

“Silent treatment. That’s new.” He scoffed behind her. “Never known the Doctor to be quiet. But, then again. I wouldn’t know. Who’s to say you weren’t quiet as a child?” 

She ignored him, and didn’t give him the satisfaction of tensing. 

“All those lifetimes, I imagine you’ve changed one hell of a lot.” He pointed out. 

She ignored him. 

And kept ignoring him. The Doctor managed to keep her mouth shut at his endless talking and taunting for a month. 

She deteriorated. The bags under her eyes got heavier, and her head was almost always hurting with how hard she was clenching her jaw. She stopped washing her hair properly, stopped caring about herself. The Doctor figured, that the most important thing was that she blocked him out. 

As long as she could ignore him, she’d be fine. 

Until one day, enough was enough. 

“I mean,” he drawled on, from where he was leaning against a wall. “You did get what you’d always wanted. You got to be special.” 

The Doctor snapped her book shut, whipping around to face him. 

“I didn’t want this.” She seethed. The Master almost looked surprised, raising an eyebrow. It was the first time she’d spoken to him since he got there. 

“Yes you did.” He scoffed. “Always wanted to be the odd one out. Always wanted to be the one who wasn’t the same.”

“I never wanted this!” She stood up. “I don’t want to not know who I am. I never wanted to lead- never wanted to create the Time Lords.”

“Well you must have done at some point, because you did it.” the Master hissed, clearly angry at the notion that this was upsetting the Doctor. 

“If- if I created the time lords, and if I created you, that makes me responsible for everything they’ve done. All the awful things you’ve ever done. And I don’t want that.” 

The Master pushed off the wall, opening his arms. 

“Well that’s too bad!” He roared, fury clouding his eyes. “Because you are!” 

“Why?” She spat. “Why did you tell me? What good has it done?” 

“Because I wanted you to get, even a taste of how much I hate you.” He seethed. The Doctor laughed dryly, shaking her head and turning from him. 

“Trust me, I hate me more than you could ever possibly try too.” 

“Your life’s a tragedy, you’re the first of the most civilised species in the world, sucks to be you.” He growled. 

“But I don’t want to be!” She argued loudly. “There’s no point hating me for this, because I can’t change it!” She prodded a finger to her own chest. “You can hurl abuse at me all you want! You can hate me and torture me, but it’s for something I can’t even remember! So what’s the point??”

“Because if you made the Time Lords, then you made me the way I am!” He spat, stepping closer to her. “You, are the reason I have been suffering, for two thousand years.” He hissed. 

“And what?” She shrugged. “You want an apology? Sorry! There you go- happy now?? What do you want from me?? I don’t even know who I am!” Her voice cracked painfully on the last word, and the Master looked take aback for a moment. 

“You told me you weren’t scared.” He pointed out, cocking his head to the side to regard her. 

“I’m not.” She muttered, shaking her head at the ground. “I’m lost. And mourning. And lonely. I’ve never felt this alone.” The Doctor admitted brokenly. With immediate hindsight, she realised she should definitely not tell the Master this, but it was too late to take it back now. 

“That’s what I want.” He grinned at her. “You’re suffering, and it’s what you deserve.” 

“You’re right.” She nodded, after a pause. The Master blinked at her, frowning skeptically. 

“Beg your pardon?”

“You’re right. I do deserve it.” She repeated, moving to sit on the side of her bed. She felt like stone. 

He opened his mouth to say something, before deciding better of it. 

This time, he didn’t speak. Neither of them said a word to each other for two months. 

They ate next to each other, scowled at each other and rarely slept at the same time, but they didn’t speak. 

Until one day, when the Doctor had a thought. 

“When you compressed Ashad, the lone cyber-man, how did you know the Death Particle wouldn’t activate?” She didn’t roll over to face him, but she could hear him shrugging from where he was reading. 

“I didn’t.” 

“You could’ve killed yourself.” She pointed out quietly. 

“Yup!” 

The Doctor frowned, sitting up and turning to face him. 

“You’ve never wanted to die before.” Her hearts twisted in her chest. “Do you really hate me that much that you’d kill yourself just to get rid of that part of me in you?” 

The Master glanced at her from over his book. 

“Hmmmmm let me think about tha- yes.” 

“Why?” The Doctor frowned, hurt. She wasn’t sure why it hurt: this was the Master, they hadn’t been on good terms for a long time. But when he was Missy, it really had felt like something had changed between them. That maybe he didn’t hate her. She wondered where it had all gone. 

“Because you changed.” He shrugged, licking his finger and flicking over the page in his book. “You’re arrogant. Self righteous. You’ve always thought you were better than me. Better than the Time Lords. You always thought you were meant for bigger things.” 

The Doctor frowned, shaking her head a little. The Time Lord, if that’s what she even was, couldn’t believe how vulnerable she was letting herself be around him. But nothing mattered anymore. Not to her. She had nothing left to lose. 

“No. I never thought I was good enough to be a Time Lord. I always thought I shouldn’t have been at the Academy, with such brilliant people.”

“I wonder how many times you went to the Academy and thought the same thing.” The spite was obvious in his voice. 

She shrugged. 

“I might not remember it, but I’m sure I never met anyone as brilliant as you.” 

The Master was up faster than the Doctor could blink, and immediately had both hands twisted around her throat. Her breath hitched and she put one hand over his to try and pry it away. 

“Don’t you dare.” He spat, inches away from her face as pure anguish swirled in his deep eyes. “Don’t you even dare sit there, and pretend that I ever meant anything to you.” 

The Doctor frowned. She hadn’t been expecting that. 

“Wh-“

“Shut up!” He squeezed tighter. “You don’t ever tell me I was important to you. That I was ever a factor in your pathetic, immortal life.”

“Mas- ter- please-“ she gasped. “Let- let go.” 

The Master growled, squeezing impossibly harder for a moment before letting go. The Doctor fell back to her bed, gasping in deep lungfuls of air and coughing, as her elbows quivered to keep her upright. 

He watched her, before turning back to his book. 

The bruises were on her neck for half a week. 

She didn’t speak to him for two. 

“You did.” She risked one day, and he raised an eyebrow from where he was carving angry Gallifreyan into the walls, with a blunt knife he’d somehow managed to get from somewhere. It was probably not the best idea to tell him that when he had a knife in hand, blunt or not, but the Doctor was past caring. 

“What?” He muttered. 

“You did mean something to me. Everything to me.” 

The scratching stopped. 

“How many people do you think you’ve ever loved, Doctor?” He asked coldly. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugged nervously. “Too many to count. But you’re not on that list.” 

“No,” he hummed, sweeping dust away with his hand, “I don’t imagine I am.” 

“You’re not on any list.” She continued. “When it comes to you, you’re the only one. The only one who ever meant anything to me. The only one who I could never explain how I felt about. The only one who ever called me Theta, and my only Koschei.” 

He scoffed, dropping his arms and turning to look at her. 

“You can’t say that. You have no idea who you were, and who you’ve loved.” He stood up, pacing his way over to the bars of their window. “Y’know, for a long time, Doctor, I thought I were truly special to you. In an odd, convoluted way, but some way all the same. I knew that however many past times you had, I would always be the one you’d come running back too. I would always be the one you really loved. 

Because I was your beginning, and you mine. But I was wrong. You’ve lived for millions of years before me, and you’ll still be alive by the time I’m long gone. I’m not important, and I never was.” 

The Doctor stood, crossing the room and frowning at him. 

“That’s not true.” She said firmly. “This hasn’t changed all that we meant to each other.” 

The Master laughed dryly. 

“Yes it has, Doctor. God knows how many Koschei’s you had before I came about.” 

She took his hand. And didn’t back down. Surprisingly, he didn’t pull away. He only glanced down at them, raising an eyebrow. 

“I thought you said you’d never take my hand.”

“Who I am now, and who I have always been, was born with you. I might have been the Timeless Child before you, hell- I might have been the Doctor before you. But Theta was born with you. 

‘You know me. You always have, better than I knew myself. You’ve proved that again. And if you know one thing about me it’s that I am Theta. Who I was with you is who I really am. Without the stupid titles and the stupid legends.

‘And when I die, I’ll die in the same way I was born. I’ll do it with you, and with the knowledge that somewhere, you’re waiting for me on the other side.” 

The Master searched her face for a long while, eyes steely and closed off. 

“If you die.” He corrected. 

“I will.” She nodded firmly. “I’ll find a way. When you’re gone, that’ll be me done.”

He rolled his eyes, turning to look out of their window. 

“Ever the self-destructive.” 

“Why do you think they let me keep this life? Why do you think they let me remember this?” She asked. The Master hummed, shrugging. 

“Maybe they hadn’t gotten around to taking it.”

“Or maybe I wouldn’t let them.” She let go of his hand. “Maybe I thought I’d found something worth fighting for.”

And the Doctor went back to bed. 

They spoke every now and again. Maybe once every two days. It was little things, like ‘is this book any good?’ Or ‘can you pass the water?’

But it was civil. And better than nothing. 

The Master seemed, surprisingly hinged, considering the last time they’d seen one another. The Doctor wasn’t sure what it was- maybe the situation, maybe the environment. Maybe the novelty of her finding out was waring off. 

“Is the cyberium still in you?” She asked one day. The Master hummed and nodded. 

“Gets a little restless sometimes. Difficult to control.”

“What happened to your cyber men?” She asked. They hadn’t actually talked about how either of them had landed where they had. 

He smirked at his book. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He shrugged. “What happened to your friends?”

“They got home. But..they think I’m dead. They think I blew up Gallifrey.” 

He was quiet for a while. 

“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to be like you.” She sighed, picking at her nails. They were in a bad way. “And I didn’t- I didn’t want to..hurt you. I can’t hurt you.”

“Why?” The Master threw his book down, sitting up right and staring hard at her. “Why can’t you hurt me?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t want too.”

“You hate me.” He pointed out. “And I’m going to keep hurting you until you hurt me back.”

“Why do you want me to hurt you back?” The Doctor rebutted. He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment, before they cleared into something light. 

“Perhaps then I’d feel it was justified. That you are the person that deserves to suffer.”

“Don’t worry,” The Doctor shrugged, lying back down. “I am.” 

“Are you?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“If I’m anything like the high council. If I’m anything like Rassilon- then yes. I was cruel enough to create the Time Lords.”

“You’ve always been self-righteous, Doctor. Have you stopped to consider that maybe you were doing what you thought was right at the time?” He drawled. The Doctor was shocked that any attempt at comfort was coming from his mouth. 

It didn’t make her feel much better though. 

“It doesn’t matter if I did. I was wrong.”

“As old as you are, you can’t get it right every time.” 

All of a sudden, the Doctor felt like crying. 

She hadn’t let a single tear slip since it had happened. She hadn’t allowed herself the luxury of feeling pain, when she had caused so much.

But now she couldn’t stop them. 

They gathered in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks, as she sat up slowly. 

“I don’t-“ her voice gave out. “I don’t know how old I am.” She shook her head, wiping a tear away with the heel of her hand. “I don’t even know my own name.” The word cracked as her voice broke. “I don’t know how long I’ve felt alone for. But I am alone. I’m so lonely.”

He watched her darkly, with something close to regret. 

“I thought it would feel better, watching you unravel.” He admitted rather blankly, and the Doctor wept opposite him. 

“I want it to stop.” She whispered. “I don’t want to be tired anymore. I just want to know who I am.”

“You’re the Doctor.” He pointed out. 

“But for how long, have I been the Doctor?” She jabbed a finger to her chest. “Where did I come from?”

“I don’t know.” The Master admitted. “But it’s nothing you can’t find out.”

She felt tears dropping from her chin. Crying didn’t feel any better. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to yell. She didn’t want to feel, and she didn’t want to know. 

“I always thought you were the only person I’d ever met that was even remotely like me,” she said shakily, “but now I’m afraid we’re not as similar as I thought.”

“We are.” He sighed, getting up and sitting beside her. 

It was the first time they’d been this close, without trying to maim one another. It felt strange, and the Doctor was apprehensive. She couldn’t afford to get her hearts broken at a time like this. 

“Do you remember when we hypnotised Mr Satholon into thinking it was the end of the day, and he let us go before class had even begun?” 

She scoffed, sniffling beside him. 

“Yeah.” She smiled a tiny bit. 

“And you taught me the best place to hide when you were avoiding class was in the boiler room cuz everyone thought it was locked?” She nodded. “And I taught you how to make sounds when you blow on a grass blade between your thumbs.” 

She laughed quietly, wiping another tear away. 

“When you did it it always sounded so beautiful.” She smiled at the floor. “When I did it, it just sounded like a fart.” 

He scoffed. 

“Yeah. It did. But I was the one who taught you that. You’d never known before that, there was such a wonder on your face.” 

She glanced at him. 

“I don’t know how long you’ve been alive, Doctor. But I did show you things you’d never seen before, and I still will. We are alike. You’ve shown me things I’ve never dreamt of. 

‘I don’t know how many best friends you’ve had, but I’m the one that showed you the things around you from a different perspective. I showed you the world and you looked at it like you’d never seen it before. And you did the same to me. I thought I knew everything, but you changed the way I looked at things. That’s got to count for something.”

“It does.” She nodded, “it does. And- and I’m sorry.” The Doctor glanced at her lap, before looking back at him through wet eyelashes. “I’m sorry about what I created. I’m sorry about what they did- what I did to you. I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry I never gave you the chance at a real life.” 

He took her hand, and sighed. 

“Don’t apologise for things you’re not even sure are your fault.” He said darkly, and the Doctor appreciated the clear effort he was putting into saying that. “Besides, I didn’t kill them all for my own selfishness.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s you, Doctor. It’s always been you,” the Master reached up and put a hesitant and calloused hand to her cheek. “The woman that was supposed to be your mother killed you over and over, reared you for science. The High Council, they used you for their own needs, and then took away any scrap of self respect you might’ve had. I mean- maybe if you remembered, things might not have been so clear cut. Maybe you wouldn’t hate yourself as much. They hurt you as much as they hurt me, Doctor. We’ve always known that. And just because they used you to create the Time Lords, doesn’t change that. They used you. And I have been waiting for my chance to burn them to the ground for it for centuries.” 

She wanted to hurt him. She wanted to hold him. 

She did neither. 

“You never tried.” He announced when he was pacing two days later, and his agitation had gotten the better of him. 

“Huh?” She looked up from where she was sat on the ground. 

“At the Academy. Do you know how hard everyone else was working? And you flounced in, and did nothing. Got me to help you with your work, and homework. Never did anything, always got into trouble. And somehow you’re the one to come out on top.” 

She looked back down. 

“You’re not even that smart. I’m smarter than you. A better Time Lord than you, more of what they wanted. And yet, you’re the one who gets to be more than it all.”

“I know.” The Doctor almost apologised, before realising it would’ve been pointless. 

“I always deserved more than you. I deserved to have the power you had.”

“You have more power than me.” She pointed out. “You killed them all.”

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling and rolling his neck. 

“I deserve to be more than a self prestigious Time Lord. I could be so much more. But they had to ruin me.”

She paused. 

“You’re the last Time Lord left.” 

He snapped his head down and looked at her. 

“What?”

“Well- I’m not a Time Lord. Not what we know as Time Lords anyway. You’re the last one. You beat them all.” She pointed out tiredly. A grin slowly spread on the Master’s face, and he began to laugh. 

“Oh! What a wonderful day to be alive! Last of the Time Lords, and I will do what I want with their legacy.” 

The Doctor swallowed. She didn’t like the sound of that. 

That night, the Doctor couldn’t sleep. She often tried, with not much else to do, but rarely succeeded. Her thoughts were too loud and too many. 

The Master was muttering in his sleep. Spitting the beats out and shifting uncomfortably. 

The Doctor knew he was having a nightmare. 

So, not thinking much about it, she got up, crossed the small space, and lay down next to him. 

He didn’t wake, but he stopped counting. 

The next morning, the Doctors eyes opened to see his face, inches away and caught up in what looked like curiosity, and scathing skepticism. 

“What?” She whispered. 

“What are you?” He muttered. 

“I don’t know.” She admitted, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Are you going to go looking for answers?” He asked quietly. The Doctor thought about it for a moment, before shrugging. 

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I really want to know. I’m afraid of what I might find.”

“Well, it can’t be any more world shattering than this.” The Master pointed out dryly, rolling onto his back. 

“You say that,” she sighed deeply, rubbing at her eyes. 

“Why have you stayed here?” He asked, not turning to look at her. “You have the guards schedule memorised and we’ve both noticed the slat on the door can be broken off and you can unlock the door from the outside, because you’ve memorised the lock number from the different sounds each number makes. So why?”

“Why have you?” She asked. “You worked all of that out, did it in the first week. So why have you stayed?” 

“I told you,” he shrugged. “I needed a holiday.”

“You were in the middle of rebuilding the most civilised and unstoppable race in the galaxy. You had a lot to do, worlds to conquer. So why come here?”

The Master set his jaw for a moment, before sighing out through his nostrils. 

“Your little friend, Jack, found me.” The Doctor’s eyes widened slightly. “He told me you were here, asked me to get you out after a year.”

“Why?” She frowned. “Why a year?”

“Because somehow, he knows that you’re the Timeless Child. And he wanted to give you enough time to process it.” 

“And you agreed?” The Doctor narrowed her eyes skeptically. 

“Well yes, naturally. World domination isn’t as fun if I don’t have you there to see all the destruction I’m causing.” 

She paused, watching his side profile. 

“You didn’t need to get yourself thrown in here though. You could’ve just waited a year and got me out with brute force. No one would’ve stopped you. Not with your cyber men.”

“It’s a prison, Doctor, you have no where to run too.” He explained tiredly. “And I wanted to talk to you. I want to understand what you are.” 

She sighed, shifting onto her own back and looking up at the ceiling. 

“Get me out then. Take me away and experiment. I’ve got nothing better to be doing.” 

She could feel his gaze on her for a moment, before he sighed. 

“No. You’ve been experimented on enough. I’m not going to take any more of your lives for my own morbid curiosity.” 

She looked at him, and almost laughed in disbelief. 

“How are you a Time Lord?” She murmured. 

“Sorry?”

“You. I’m almost certain you’re the first person that’s known about who I am, who’s said something so kind. That’s not like a Time Lord at all.”

“I’m not kind.” He grumbled. “I just-“She raised her eyebrows curiously. “I’ve made you suffer enough.”

“No,” the Doctor shook her head, turning to face him again and curling up into his side. The Master didn’t hesitate to put an arm around her. “You did the kind thing. You told me the truth when no one else did. When I’d been lied to my entire life.” She leant up, and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “You were a good friend.” 


End file.
